Games and figures by Matt Slade of Glenbrook Games and Painting Service. For details visit my website at
www.glenbrookgames.co.uk or email me at slade.m@sky.com
Following the fall of his Slough Depot (see previous episode The Female of the Species) evil industrialist Lancelot Cray has relocated his Femdroid storage facility to Romford.
Dept X and Project Time Lift join forces in a Raid scenario to rescue an agent who has gone missing on an earlier recce mission.
Time Lift give a first outing to the SPV personnel carrier which storms the front gate of the facility behind General Gordon in the X Agent'sLandrover.
Cray's guards open fire on the marauding vehicles.
Following an event card some of the X Agents did not make it into the Landrover and have to go in on foot instead.
Femdroids await the call to action.
Cray, his personal femdroid Flossy and arch henchman Lionel, watch the situation develop.
The massive Craytron computer uses it's full 2k of memory to suggest strategy.
Doc Solomon breaks out of his cell - hoorah!
High kicking heroine Pandora King decides when to reveal herself, having used the Infiltrator rule to deploy among the bad guys.
The first outing of the SPV ends prematurely as it goes out of control and comes to a halt after some impressive firing by the guards.
X Agents leap out of the Landrover after it's driver is killed. The minions take careful aim but are jumped from behind by Pandora who floors them both.
Time Lift Agents escape from the SPV.
Gordon rushes forward and plants an explosive device (strangely shaped like a dice). Unfortunately he then remembers that he has a war wound and cannot run - oops, this might be close.
Bad to worse as the General comes under heavy fire from all directions and takes a couple of hits.
Femdroids add to his misery. Their swinging hips tempt the General out of his cover.
Meanwhile, Pandora knocks the face off of a femdroid.
The General finally succumbs and slumps unconscious to the floor.
Time Lift and X Agents gang up to stun a minion who blocks their way to an objective counter.
Agent Blue finds the lost man but is gunned down.
What's this? Lancelot Cray and Lionel flee the scene having lost most of their force. The game ends with only a minor victory to Dept X and Time Lift as the loss of General Gordon costs them dear.
A party of French couriers have been attacked by Spanish guerrillas. Word has got back to French and British that these couriers were carrying pledges from Spanish nobles, signed under duress, to Napoleon as the rightful ruler of Spain. The guerrillas took everything shiny, but being illiterate, left the papers behind.
Big men from either side must search each body, retrieve the papers and get them safely off their table edge. A d6 will then be rolled for each of the four documents (one one each of the four dead couriers) to calculate it's importance. The side with the highest value documents will win.
Both sides have 5 groups led by 1 big man of level 4, 1 level 3, 1 level 2 and two level 1.
The village of San Miguel (seen from the French starting positions) where the dead couriers lie in the baking heat.
Both sides start on Blinds. Through some good spotting rolls, the British and Portuguese force the French to give away their positions. The first volley is from the Cacadores.
French Fusiliers hurry forward on the French right. The French Blinds card came up with irritating (for me the unbiased British player) frequency usually just before the Tiffin card! The French were almost on top of the couriers before the British got going.
The notorious Capt LeVert (he comes from a long vaguely illustrious line of LeVerts who die regularly in our games) leads his men into the Church of the Magnificent Miracle of the Holy Sheep.
On the British Right, the Rifles and Light Infantry head towards the stream.
More French fusiliers in the centre under command of Lt Le Chapeau.
The Portuguese lose the first of two Big Men in the battle. Fortunately replacements are found.
Miraculous sheep get in the way of the British after being startled by the gun fire.
Fierce exchanges of fire as a fusilier Big Man retrieves two of the documents.
Le Chapeau bravely (?) leaves his men behind and makes off with one document. His group are promptly charged and broken by the rampant Rifles who have broken through and are in hot pursuit.
Another Le Vert bites the dust as he is killed outright after his visit to the church. the French begin to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
The Rifles (probably led by Sharp as they are doing well) catch the purple pom poms and dispatch their Big Man.
Through great fortune, the Rifles hold there position deep in French territory, but tragedy strikes as the Rifles Big Man grasps the documents but is gunned down (probably not Sharp now!).
The game came to a conclusion as the remaining French units were forced back. The British ended up victors as they had more valuable documents. Close run game as usual though which could and did swing easily either way thanks to the randomness of the card driven turn sequence.
The annual Martyrs rally at Tolpuddle although declared illegal has once again attracted all manner of leftist loonies from the Socialist areas of the country. One such party of Socialist miscreants has been spotted heading north up the Piddle Valley. The Cerne Abbas unit of the Piddle Valley Defence Force have been mustered to prevent any trouble and to stop the Socialists from passing through the village. You have blocked the road and intend to keep the village “red-free”.
PVDF Platoon (Blues)
Sergeant Steve Butcher - Blue Big Man 1 (status 3)
Cpl Craig Baker - Blue Big Man 2 (status 2) Deployed at the road block.
L/Cpl Bob “Candlestick” Mayker - Blue Big Man 3 (status 1)
28 Green troops with rifles (Good Morale)
2 Regulars with Lewis Guns (Good Morale)
All troops start on blinds at the Northern edge of the table, apart from Baker whose squad are at the road block and can remain hidden until spotted in the usual manner.
Objectives – Prevent the Socialists from getting through the village. Capture any Big Men for interrogation.
PBM Briefing (Reds)
The Huntley and Palmers branch of the People’s Biscuit Makers are lost. They took a wrong turn after being chased out of Tolpuddle whilst attempting to honour their illustrious predecessors at the annual (and now illegal) Martyrs rally. They managed to escape the BUF Durnovarian Guard outside of Dorchester and have headed North along the Piddle Valley. They have met Brother Socialists on the road, who have warned them that the locals up ahead are armed and are stopping anyone going through the village of Cerne Abbas. The HPPBM pause for a sub-committee meeting and decide (eventually) that enough is enough. They decide to teach the reactionary villagers a lesson and head towards Cerne Abbas.
PBM Forces
Comrade Chairman Tony “Dunker” McVitie - Red Big Man 1 (status 3)
Comrade Secretary Billy “Cracker” Jacobs – Red Big Man 2 (status 2)
Comrade Minute Taker Tom “Hob Nobby” Clarke – Red Big man 3 (status 1)
Comrade Tea Maker Jack “PG” Tips – Red Big Man 4 (status 1)
36 Green troops with rifles (Good Morale)
3 trucks
All troops start on blinds on the Southern table edge having debussed from their trucks.
Objectives – defeat the local defence forces so that you can clear the road. Capture enemy Big Men if possible for propaganda purposes.
The southern edge of Cerne Abbas. The PBM have seen the roadblock by the bridge and debus onto blinds at the southern table edge. They start to make their way cautiously through the dense terrain spotting as they go.
The PVDF spot a blind on the road by the trucks and forcing them off of their blind pour fire onto the unfortunate socialists. "Hob Nobby" Clarke and "PG" Tips squads take so much shock that they never really recover.
Now that the first group of PVDF have revealed themselves at the roadblock, "Cracker" Jacobs leads his men on a blind along the hedgerow until they are in a position to open fire.
Corporal Baker and his squad man the roadblock, "You shall not pass!"
"Dunker" McVitie crosses the church yard and deploys on the right flank, opening fire on Baker's men.
"Don't panic! Don't panic! Them Reds don't like it up 'em you know." Baker calms his men. Amazingly, despite taking numerous casualties, barely any shock effects the brave men of Cerne Abbas and they remain steadfast at the roadblock whilst they await reinforcements. main issue for Baker is the frequent jams from the Lewis gun.
The reinforcements begin to arrive in the form of L/Cpl Bob "Candlestick" Mayker. Armed with a flag and a cucumber sandwich he eventually takes position on the PVDF left.
McVitie continues to approach the roadblock, firing as they go. They are now under fire from Mayker's squad.
"My regards to you Mr Baker. A split tin loaf for Mrs Butcher after all this is sorted if you would". Sgt Butcher arrives casually on the PVDF right and then sweeps forward towards "Cracker" Jacobs men.
It's all too much for "Cracker". His men fall back to the trucks under the weight of fire.
They are soon joined by McVitie's men. The People's Biscuit Makers will have to find another way back to their Reading factory base.
The rules used are the "Mud and Blood" by the Toofatlardies.
Figures are mainly from Under the Bed, Great War, Musketeer and Foundry.
Trucks are Sloppy Jalopy and Corgi.
Time Lift give a first outing to the SPV personnel carrier which storms the front gate of the facility behind General Gordon in the X Agent's Landrover.
Cray's guards open fire on the marauding vehicles.
Following an event card some of the X Agents did not make it into the Landrover and have to go in on foot instead.
Femdroids await the call to action.
Cray, his personal femdroid Flossy and arch henchman Lionel, watch the situation develop.
The massive Craytron computer uses it's full 2k of memory to suggest strategy.
Doc Solomon breaks out of his cell - hoorah!
High kicking heroine Pandora King decides when to reveal herself, having used the Infiltrator rule to deploy among the bad guys.
The first outing of the SPV ends prematurely as it goes out of control and comes to a halt after some impressive firing by the guards.
X Agents leap out of the Landrover after it's driver is killed. The minions take careful aim but are jumped from behind by Pandora who floors them both.
Time Lift Agents escape from the SPV.
Gordon rushes forward and plants an explosive device (strangely shaped like a dice). Unfortunately he then remembers that he has a war wound and cannot run - oops, this might be close.
Bad to worse as the General comes under heavy fire from all directions and takes a couple of hits.
Femdroids add to his misery. Their swinging hips tempt the General out of his cover.
Meanwhile, Pandora knocks the face off of a femdroid.
The General finally succumbs and slumps unconscious to the floor.
Time Lift and X Agents gang up to stun a minion who blocks their way to an objective counter.
Agent Blue finds the lost man but is gunned down.
What's this? Lancelot Cray and Lionel flee the scene having lost most of their force. The game ends with only a minor victory to Dept X and Time Lift as the loss of General Gordon costs them dear.
